warning: this post is not for the halfhearted

 

my friends and i flew to manila for glenn and muning’s wedding. she informed me that i will be included on the “bachelorette” list for the much coveted “bridal bouquet”. they say that whoever gets it, will be next in line. usually, the bride would throw the bouquet over her shoulder, to be caught by single women. 

 

today, it was strategically “staged” so that everybody would participate and make it a little more dignified, rather than having to tear your dress to get it.

anyhow, weng’s got an exciting twist to it. the bouquet was attached to strands of gold ribbons, and you have to choose which ones you are going to hold on to. however, one ribbon would be attached to the bouquet, and whoever gets it, has to suffer a number of consequence! really. scenarios of exiting the venue run through my head. alas, my name was called. we formed a semi-circle around the bride and my good friend stood beside me and our conversation goes:

gigi: “trish, akin na lang yang ribbon mo..”

i looked and visually traced where her ribbon goes, and according to my calculation, hers would have the bouquet.

me: “ayoko nga!!”

lo and behold!

hahahahaha!

after the wedding, it made me think – “am i next? will i ever find someone who will spend an eternity of trishiness?”

whenever i fall in love with someone, i must say, it would always be one hell of a rollercoaster ride. i love it whenever he made me feel like a princess, pursued me even if my situation is complex. there are so many times i would sit and wonder, “will it last this time?” “will i fall for the same trap?”. like the sun that sets on each and every day, and inadvertently to my fairy-tale-like world, the gullible me, fell for the poisoned fruit of the witch. my world was crushed. i wouldn’t go much into the details, but believe me, it hurts like hell.

for quite sometime now, there was one thing that kept staring me in the face – loneliness. i have a deep longing within me to have someone to talk to, to hold, and to be held by without being told to. the romantic part of me would always want to have someone to take walks with me.. will listen to my silly heart talks.. will understand my craziest emotions.. will forgive, correct, encourage, comfort and laugh with me.. there will be times that i will be self-centered, irritable, proud or lazy.. and yet love me unconditionally..

i get hurt, i fall in love, im a hopeless romantic, i had my heart shattered into million pieces, among so many other feelings. in short, im human like the rest of you. i learned that God never fails to give me trials, because otherwise, i would be easily defeated in my passion to live, conducive to idleness in pursuit of happiness and love. i would be forever asking why life doesn’t fit. why does He allow this pain? a neverending question of “why’s” and “hows”. 

somebody asked me what it feels to be 30. i’ve learned – it’s okay to be 30 and be human, to give love another chance (and another?). growing old won’t be so bad after all.

by the way, the guy who got the garter – turns out to be gay according to weng.

click here for more wedding photos

ps: after posting this entry, my ever loving mom messaged me - “anak, sweet dreams. everything will be ok. luv, mom“