unwritten. . .

“ as i ascend, i see the ground below me and rise towards the sky.. “

last quarter of 2007  was sensitively exhausting and it wasn’t easy to let go of situations that are really close to my heart. for i know that it’ll drag me along the way, so i prayed for courage and strength to go beyond. it’s not fair to have someone waiting for you and suddenly realize later on that you really can’t move forward with that person (situation).

“as i reach the top, thoughts are all muddled;  trepidation, unrest, anticipation. . “

“then a sudden stop, all major organs in my throat as i prepare myself for the revolting descent. .” 

it made me ponder:  emotional wounds are the aftermath of painful relationship experiences where needs are overlooked, feelings were invalidated, or emotional pain was somehow inflicted. the depth of the wound relates to the intensity of a person’s reactions. the ability for people to handle their emotions without becoming hasty determines the quality of their communication and the health of their relationships. when an event occurs, the mind tends to interpret the event as a positive or negative experience. when people perceive events as negative or distressing, the mind begins a self-dialogue that creates fear. the fear presents itself in a number of ways (feeling insecure, unworthy, unloved, abandoned, controlling, or lack of trust) and leads to the sadness, loneliness, anxiety, resentment, anger and pain that go hand in hand with emotional wounds.

“speed increases by the second, wind blowing through my hair with every twists, turns, loops.  stimulates autonomic nerve action..”

if a person’s fear becomes too intense, it can lead the mind to create the twin pillars of distorted perspectives and unrealistic expectations. the twin pillars skew a person’s view of the world and blur the lines between past sorrow and present reality. thus, people view present day events through the foggy lens of fear. when people view everyday situations or events through the lens of distorted perspectives and/or unrealistic expectations, the result is a mismatch between their own experience and the reality of the situation. this leads to “emotional triggers” activated by the associated fear from the emotional wound. triggers lead to emotional reactivity. reactivity does not define people, and it is not a reflection of a person’s basic worth, character, or integrity. however, when people become reactive on a regular basis, others begin to perceive and respond to them in a negative manner and their relationships become chaotic and painful.

we are superbly unique individuals with emotional wounds to heal and fears to conquer. recognizing wounds and fears, the causes of reactivity, and the process of change leads quickly to the amazing benefits of having emotionally intelligent relationships.

“before i know it, ride’s over..”

i shifted house early second quarter of this year.  met new people who somewhat created chaos in my life. but, just like every storm, i struggled to survive ‘til its over.

“my head whirling as i left the ride..”

it’s finally over.  just like what the song said in my previous post:  i gotta put you out of my mind this time. . i guess i’m down to my last cry..

. . .

i settled myself on my new place, new environment, new workplace, new ME.

 i am optimistic that things will be brighter this time for me. watch out world! HERE I COME! *wink*