nebulous. . .

how are we suppose to deal with depression? we all have our own ways of dealing with it. .

there are moments when you are so totally in love with your partner you think you will just die if she/he isn't around, and there are moments where you're just not quite sure what you're doing with this person. .for me, the key to a successful long term relationship is communication. .even at my worst moments, the lines of communication need to be open. .but, there are times that i just want to shut everybody out and be alone for quite some time. .after a few struggling years, i decided to let go. .but first, i thought about what i would lose and what i would gain by "leaving" and by "staying." what kind of relationship do we have together? what plans do we have for the future? answers to these questions helped me understand what i'm feeling at the moment. .sometimes, we look for the path of least resistance out of a relationship. .

it is possible to love someone and just not be able to get along with that person. . no relationship is conflict-free. . the important thing is not whether you disagree, but how you disagree. .sometimes couples argue a lot because they have simply not developed simple, respectful ways of talking and listening. .sometimes they want to persuade the other person to change his/her opinion, behavior, or mind. .a couple can often make rapid progress toward a more harmonious relationship when poor communication is truly what's at issue. .on the other hand, in many cases, a relationship that has formed and endured despite constant disagreement and argument is a relationship that is perhaps not based on love between two independent adults, but rather between two co-dependent people, stuck in a challenging dynamic. .sometimes it's possible to sort out these kinds of relationships. .remember, it is important, when it comes to relationships, to use your head, as well as listen to your heart. .a healthy relationship needs to make you feel good, not stressed or unhappy. .(gosh! i wish i have the knack to do this! arrgh!)

breaking up may be nobody's fault. .it can be hard but sometimes it might be the best thing for two people to make the decision that they cannot grow anymore in this relationship. .people may react differently when a relationship ends. .it is not uncommon to feel sad, angry, disbelief, guilt or relief. .managing these feelings may be hard. .it may take some time to accept that the relationship has ended and it is time to move on from the relationship. .sometimes the ending of a relationship can give you time to learn more about yourself, spend time with your friends and do things that you enjoy doing. .having someone you can talk to may be helpful. .

if you decide to dissolve the relationship, how do you get over that loss? it will probably be hard at first, and you may never get over it completely. what are your fears, how do you feel, what has changed, and how will you cope? one of the most difficult words to say, especially to ones you never want to close off from, is the longing and wanting to know they are still open for you. . i am lucky to have my family and friends for support. .allowed myself some time to grieve. . i realized that with time, people heal and move on. .

one last thought. .the grass isn't always greener on the other side (but sometimes, it is). .you have to decide if you want to take the risk to find out. .

obviously, im forever choking on my thoughts. . .dumugo na naman utak nyo sa kin! hahahha!