dating 101. . .

“..will he call when he says he’ll call?
who would make the first move?
is it ok just to text?
dating’s a modern minefield..”

there comes a point in every woman’s life where she is in constant state of waiting to be swept off her feet. .after going through the motions of number exchange, the first follow-up phone call, the text message flirting and setting a time and a date, my expectations had reached an unrealistic all-time high. .and then, in a matter of a few hours, the first date was over and done with and instead of being swept away, the usual anxieties set in. .
what next?
will he call?
should I call?
how long should I wait?

when it comes to navigating the minefield that is modern dating, is there any room for antiquated rules or has dating finally entered the realm of no rules?

dubai is filled to the brim with seemingly liberated women, forging brilliant careers, living independent lives and taking control of their destiny. .but when it comes to men and dating, many are quick to revert back to traditional gender roles that are entirely useless and often completely arbitrary. .according to someone, who’s currently on date number four with a new interest: “you tell your girlfriends that you’re following the rules, but there’s always room for cheating..” in her case, cheating comes by way of text message, arguably one of the most revolutionary tools to alter the way men and women interact..”by sending a text message, women can avoid by the phone and willing it to ring, and rest assured that they haven’t broken the rule of not being the first to call,” she admits. .

while officially staying within the bounds of not calling the guy, text messages are technological equivalent of making eye contact, where things can be left open to interpretation. .the inclusion of smiley faces, winks, exclamation points and other punctuation is all part of portraying the right message. .for men, this might sound a lot like an alien language, seeing as they are the less analytical sex and more often than not do away with any rulebooks and instead to go with instinct. .

one thirty-something bachelor says: “if i say i’m going to call, i will call. .you just have to trust your instincts with a girl, there’s no point in playing games and sticking to pre-set game plan. .” this will come as news to many women who waste their time trying to second-guess what the next move will be. .his attitude to women and dating is more laissez-faire, believing that “rules always work against you. .the universe is just too smart for that, so instead of obsessing about calling, why not just pick up the phone and talk?”. .it’s all grist to the mill though because no matter how many exceptions to the rule there are out there, the standard attitude towards dating etiquette will almost always stand true. .women will most likely wait, if not expect the man to be the first to initiate contact and propose a date. .

and that’s not even considering the rules on who pays..while women’s level of sanity decreases in proportion to the number of dates (more dates, more interest, more obsessing) men are usually just playing things by ear. .by bowing down to the predetermined cultural expectations of being the initiators, they are working on their own schedule and usually clueless to the nerve-wracking activities the women are indulging in ..popular culture phenomena like “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus”, “He’s Just Not That Into You”, not to mention the whole dating how-to books in self-helps sections and shows like “Sex and the City”, have created monsters of men and women. .

with so many confusing and conflicting cultural references floating around, it becomes easy to ignore your natural instinct and instead become consumed with trying to perfect a step-by-step process to dating and relationships. .although dating can be a harrowing experience, there are undeniable perks, regardless of how much second-guessing goes on. .although none of my expectations were met on my first date, i was left with that feeling of anticipation for the second date – regardless of who calls first. .as it happened, neither of us called. .

i sent a text message. .

. . .

THE ONLY DATING RULES WORTH STICKING TO

throw out every last rule in your rule book. .
instead of rigid rules to abide by, use your head instead. .
whether you are a man or a woman, act on impulse and ask for that first date. .t’s only a harmless first date. .
don’t worry about who calls who-that’s just wasted energy. .send a text message instead. .
but always remember that ‘:’ on text message can be a confusing thing to receive. .
always offer to pay-it sounds like a rule, but it’s really just polite. .
don’t accept a second date if you’re not interested. .that becomes a Pity Date and there’s nothing worse. .