pain in our hearts. . .
Sunday, February 25, 2007if i were to tell someone about my life today, i could do it in a way that would make them think me a brave, happy, independent woman. . rubbish: i am not even allowed to mention the only word that is more important than the eleven minutes - love. .
all my life, i thought of love as some kind of voluntary enslavement. . well, that's a lie: freedom only exists when love is present. . the person who gives him or herself wholly, the person who feels freest, is the person who loves most wholeheartedly. .
and the person who loves wholeheartedly feels free. . that is why, regardless of what i might experience, do or learn, nothing makes sense. . i hope this time passes quickly, so that i can resume my search for myself - in the form of a man who understands me and does not make me suffer. .
but what am i saying? in love, no one can harm anyone else; we are each of us responsible for our own feelings and cannot blame someone else for what we feel. .
it hurts when i lost each of the various men i fell in love with. . now, though, i am convinced that no one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone . .
that is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it . .
eleven minutes (paulo coelho)
the aftermath of pain can be almost physical when you lose someone that you love – an ache that is blind to anything else - just a world of impair. sometimes things happen to you that almost rips apart the very thread of your being.
there came a time in my life where everything met at a crossroad. i felt deserted and almost drove me to insanity. one by one, like dominos, everything began cascading down. friends, family, and my dearest love. i felt there was nothing left of me as a person. i felt betrayed by someone i put my entire trust into. i wake up everyday and go through life in a daze.
i know there must be something better for me out there.
i just don't know where to look for it.
"should i even look for it?" i asked myself.
everyone plays the fool at times - unfortunately i learned a very hard lesson. reality became very clear in a situation. no matter how much we think we have control of our lives, the real surprise is when you see what your life really is. i have learned not to look for things that can make me happy, whole and pleased. i strongly believe that God will provide and i've learned how to be serene and to trust in His plans. . .
i'm still dealing with the repercussions that came out of my choices, but they are healing with time.
i'm learning to move on and slowly learning to trust again . . .
”saying goodbye, doesn't mean i don't love her anymore . . i still do. .”
a friend of mine told me. .
how do you turn and walk away when a portion of your heart is longing to stay?
lie about us. . .
Saturday, February 24, 2007sponge bagay 'to sa 'yo. . . 
[avant]
baby i know when we started out there were things you didn't know. .
but baby girl we got a lotta things we need to discuss . .
i know i'm asking for a lot, but just trust. . .
you say that things getting old. .sneakin' round. .creepin' and love on the low
but baby girl I can't wait till it's officially us. .
i can't wait to let them know about us. .
[nicole]
first i thought that i could take it boy, but i don't know. .
You told me you were gonna leave her for me long ago. .
[avant]
eventually i will, but I just gotta take it slow
don't wanna break her heart, although i gotta let her go
so baby. .
[avant]
so please don't say you wanna give up. .
how do i tell her that I'm fallin’ in love. .
and i know you’re waitin’ patiently for that day. .
when we no longer have to lie about us. .
when i'm with her all i want is your touch. .
and when you call me i don't wanna hang up. .
and i know I say it often but I can't wait
Till' we no longer have to lie about us. .
[avant]
baby i know situation don't seem fair to us both. .
but baby girl, she's an issue that I'm bout to adjust. .
don't mistake the love we make for just us. .
you are my soul (mind, body, spirit) all that i know. .
but baby girl i can't wait till it's officially us. .
i can't wait to tell the world about us. .
[nicole]
first i thought that i could take it boy. . but i don't know. .
you told you were gonna leave her for me long ago. .
[avant]
eventually i will. .but i just gotta take it slow
don't wanna break her heart although, i gotta let her go
so baby. .
baby won't you wait just a little bit. .
for (just a little bit). .
me (just a little bit longer, longer)
just a little bit. .
just a little bit. .
longer, longer. .
just a little bit. .
just a little bit. .
just a little bit. .
all i need. . .
sorry peeps. . i know i was supposed to post something for john and alvin. .tomorrow talaga! hehehe. . .
thanks yor you know i've only liked a few radiohead music. . but this one is definitely one of 'em. . .this is so me! 
hehehe. . .
i'm the next act
waiting in the wings
i'm a flash flood
running through your ground floor
i am all things
that you choose to ignore
you are all i need
you are all i need
i'm in the middle of a picture
lying in the leaves
i'm a cloud of moths
who just wants to share your light
i'm an insect
who wants to get out of the night
you only stick with me
because there are no others
you are all i need
you are all i need
i'm in the middle of a picture
lying in the leaves
it's all wrong
it's all right
it's all wrong
exceptional. . .
Saturday, February 17, 2007sometimes, people tell you wonderful things when you least expect it. . let me share these with you. .
one day. . you'll meet a beautiful person who deserves you and will make you happy and fulfilled. . treat tomorrow as an opportunity to make things right. .don't ignore your past, because it will make you a stronger person and it's part of who you are and what you have become. .each person you will meet is your pillar. .and don't forget that i will always be here for you no matter what. .tomorrow will be a brighter day for you. .i love you. .
thanks mom!
collecting stones. . .
Thursday, February 15, 2007never take for granted every person close to your heart because you might wake up one day and realize that you have lost a diamond because you were too busy collecting stones. . .
im sure most of you got an email with a subject that says "beautiful hearts on valentine's day". .it almost flooded my inbox, and what really caught my interest were the quoted lines. .
love is very special, yet can make you feel so lost. .you must find ways to nurture, and grow you love with care. mistakes are bound to happen. you may hurt each other's heart. yet, you don't give up easily. it will tear your love apart.
looking back gives me confidence to move forward. .learn from all my mistakes (gosh,i think i've said this for the nth time!). loving made me realize a lot of things. .you must, above all else, love yourself. .you can never always be sure if the person you love can give you the respect, care and understanding that you deserve. .people change (in most cases,it's not for the best). .though, walking forward with confidence might take a bit of false bravado at first, but once i get a sense of comfort with my new strut, i'll never be mild again!. .i wanna challenge some of my biggest insecurities, and be proud of my imperfections (they are part of what makes me human). .wish me luck *wink*
last night, i've learned how to defend myself (and i think it's a noble thing to do - which is what my name means) and be honest with people i care about. .it might hurt. .and i think it did. .but as much as i hate to admit it, i really have to face facts and reality sucks!
if you think i am not worthy of being loved - enlighten me. .
whether you choose to stay or go. .
my life is forever changed. .
miss saigon. . .
[lea salonga & simon bowman] sun & moon
[lea salonga and will chase] the last night of the world
one of these days. . .
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
i didn't notice
but i didn't care
i tried being honest but that lead me nowhere
i watched the station
saw the bus pullin through
and i don't mind sayin
a part of me left with youso one of these days
i won't be afraid of staying with you
i hope and i pray
waiting to find a way back to you
cause that’s where i'm homedid i make you nervous?
did i ask for too much?
was i not deserving one second of your touch?one of these days
i won't be afraid of staying with you
i hope and i pray
waiting to find a way back to you
cause that’s where i'm homewhat would you do if i could have you?
oh if i could
i'd let you feel everything i'm thinkin
wouldn't that be nice?one of these days
i won't be afraid of staying with you. .
mother knows best. . .
Sunday, February 11, 2007starbucks surprise. .
location: jebel ali village
magkamukha naman kami ah! 
with donna, bechay, neil, ruth and ross
still pretty @ 51. .
souk madinat surprise. .
location: noodle house (more…)
tags. . .
Saturday, February 10, 2007from alvin . .where are the colby pics?! *wink*
5 random things that changed since i started blogging
1. i've gained (new) and found (old) friends
2. became wary because people might recognize me as the girl who " i.ph'd " (naks!) while walking or malling (HAHAHAHA!)
3. my social life went up to one notch (so that i have something to post here)
4. read my digicam manual (for better pics, folks!)
5. felt reassured after reading other people's blog and i thought "hey they're human like me!"
from mids. .
Top 3 things found in your wallet as always:
1. ATM card & receipts
2. me and my kids' photo
3. my watch and earrings (yes, dun ko sya tinatago for safe keeping..hehehe)
Top 3 things to do when I'm sad
1. i run (literally) and grab a mc chicken sandwich with fries with chocolate shake
2. sleep the whole day
3. i cry pag sobrang inis na talaga ako
Top 3 songs on your mind right now
1. fallen (randy crawford's beautiful rendition in spanish)
2. someday we'll know (new radicals)
3. you give me something (james morrison)
Top 3 reasons to watch television
1. cartoon network
2. lonely planet (sorry, all time fave ko talaga 'to)
3.
i rarely watch tv nowadays. lack of time i guess *pouts*
Top 3 places I'd want to visit 10 yrs from now
1. spain (malditas!!)
2. turkey and new zealand
3. maldives and jamaica
Top 3 current obsessions
1. my kids
2. beaded accessories (pa rin!)
3. james morrison
Top 3 Favorite Nicknames
1. trish
2. summer
3. trishy/twishy (kay muning lang yan! hahahaha!)
Top 3 Favorite Food
1. pasta
2. chocolates
3. pastries
Top 3 Favorite Snacks
1. fruits (preferably green apples, orange -ung mandarin, seedless grapes)
2. blueberry waffles with cream cheese
3. fries with mcfloat (miss ko na mcfloat *pouts* )
Top 3 Favorite Websites
1. Nina
2. Bob Ong (pwede rin dito)
3. Youtube
i used to visit PhilMusic everyday for music updates, kaso di na sya kasing ganda nung dati *pouts*
Top 3 Favorite things to do
1. walk and run
2. bead to death
3. capturing people in motion through my lens (naks!)
Top 3 Favorite places
1. makati, malate, ortigas and quezon city (the best pa rin sa pinas!)
2. souk madinat (or jumeirah area), uptown mirdif
3. secret parks and lakes
Top 3 things I can't wait to happen
1. mark's pamamanhikan to the resurreccion clan (woohoo!)
2. my kids - happy and content with their lives
3. summerbeads - worldwide! hehehehe..
i still have a few things to add, but the list only asked for 3..sayang..hehehe
Top 3 Places where I love to shop
1. papemelroti, powerbooks, tower records, beadshops (sa pinas)
2. mango, zara and marks & spencer
3. the body shop, l'occitane, red earth
Top 3 Movies I could watch over and over
1. sound of music, wizard of oz and annie
2. reality bites and memoirs of a geisha
3. my best friend's wedding
finding nemo, 50 first dates, monsters inc, lotr trilogy, the truth about cats and dogs, the notebook, a walk to remember, ice age 1 & 2, american history x..marami pa!!!!!!!
Top 3 things I'd do on Valentine's Day
1. act normal
2. be with my girls *smiles*
3. iwas sa mga stalkers..hahahhaa..dyowk!
anong kaguluhan ba kasi itong valentines na to?! hahahaha!
Four jobs I have had in my life
1. Integrated Project Management coordinator with Dowell Schlumberger (Dubai Trade Centre)
2. Full-time Mom
3. Ground Staff for Dubai International Airport
4. beadmaster
Four movies I would watch over and over
natanong na ito kanina ah!
Four places I have lived
1. constancia st. in j.p. rizal, makati
2. trabajo st. in j.p rizal, makati (ulit)
3. and 4. molino III, bacoor, cavite & don enrique heights quezon city
Four TV shows I love(d) to watch
natanong na rin to eh! hehehe
Four websites I visit daily
1. Yahoo! Mail
2. i.ph tapos click ko lahat ng nakalink sa kin (isa isa yan!)
3. Friendster
4. Nina Soul Siren Forum
Four of my favorite foods
1. Roast Beef at Hardee's
2. Mommy's special Monggo and Nilagang Baka
3. chocolates (try niyo with rice, masarap siya! hahahaha!!)
4. Chinese Chopseuy and Mixed Fried Rice at Mini Chinese
Four places I would rather be right now
1. in megamall with Mids and my pampy family *pouts*
2. in spain with niqueelentong and lola nikola chura!
3. in disneyland with my girls
4. in turkey and maldives with……uhmmm
Now that that's done, I am going to tag…
saring
aubz
diana
eli
maez
karz
sugar mommy sharon
kuya rands
les
neve
gp
karmee
dichi
alvin
carmela
john
marc
fence
jrl
cheska
liz
franco
ang hindi magtag. . PALO!
